Times of change are times of fearfulness and times of opportunity. Which they may be for you depends upon our attitude toward them...-Ernest C. Wilson

Many of you will be surprised to read that we are closing. Frequent flyers at the center will be better prepared, as they have gone through the process with us. This decision did not come over night. We have been muddling with it for months. The bottom line came down to dollars and sense. (Yes I wrote sense, not cents!) With the increase in the cost of living; rent, postage, insurance, power, etc, it no longer made sense to continue to struggle to keep the doors open. The responsibility of operating and maintaining the physical space and dealing with the day to day “stuff” was ultimately exhausting for both Mary Rose and myself. Neither of us had the time to completely devote to the center, and unfortunately part time was not enough to sustain it. It has been a great ride for both of us. We have learned a lot about ourselves, have grown in our ability to assist others on their journey, have a better understanding of business, and have made some incredible friendships. We are not going away, just restructuring how we provide our services. Mary Rose and Ben’s classes will continue at a different location, Messages from the Other Side will continue at Unity by the Lakes. If the opportunity arises in the future to share space with someone we may take advantage of it.

During the last board meeting we were discussing what to do about the upcoming lease and everyone had their own opinion. Many were very upset that we would have to close. After some heavy dialogue, Debbie McGinnis eloquently expressed that, “We are mistaking the Soul-ution Center for a physical building and that is not what it is.” The Soul-ution Center is an energy that can and has taken many shapes. We have done our best over the years to remain open to change. This is just another evolutionary adjustment on our path.

While this is just a bump in the road for us, for some of you this will be a boulder. I tend to go through life with the belief that change is always for the better. By the law of attraction, that is what I get. For me this is a bump. If this is a boulder for you, consider what you are really afraid of. We may be your support system or a place that you enjoy going to further your spiritual education. Please realize that we aren’t going away, just shifting! There is a reason that the adage “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade” was spoken. Try to find a place of gratitude for our existence and intend that something greater is on its way for us and for you!

The center really truly isn’t just a space. It is a place that has been shaped and molded by numerous people over the last six years. We want to thanks all of the people who have supported us, giving their time and energy to make our center the loving, supportive space that it has been. Many people don’t know that our original founding partners included Diana Reed and Cindy McGeary/Huntsinger, who we can thank for the design of our beautiful web site. We have had many teachers share their wisdom on a huge variety of subjects. Regulars past and present like Rev. Ben Cox, Christopher Tims, Ann Gilfillan, Debbie Adams, Nathan and Cindy McClymonds, Debbie McGinnis, Chris Epperly, Theresa Andrews, Candace Booth, Tatia Ocasio, John Springer, Bev Tisdell, Melinda Joy Miller, Nan Reinking, Detong, Kristen Miller, Kira and Bill Pietre, Diana Hurwitz, Kathy Benton, MyLinda Morales, Michael Barry, the Singletons have all offered their wisdom. Many others have come and gone filling our heads and hearts. We have had volunteers give countless hours of their time and talent. Some of them like Juanita Hamby who manned the desk and ran the store were with us almost from the beginning. Volunteers like Janice who helped in the original location or Gloria Birdsong who helped every Friday for years, have passed. Julia Batliner was with us for a number of years helping on Thursdays. Donna Gainey stepped in with her energizer bunny energy to organize us and help at the desk for a long period of time as well. Nathan and Cindy McClymonds deserve medals for duty above and beyond wrestling with the copy machine and folding thousands of newsletters (as does Juanita who folded a bizillion as well!) Jackie Spencer worked many hours without pay doing our bookkeeping and making sure bills were paid (ok she also pulled her hair out with the gizillion copies she ran and folded!). Many practitioners supported our health fairs sharing their knowledge and helping others help themselves. Ann Gilfillan has helped with the health fairs and Holistic Medicine Educational Talks since the beginning. Over the years speakers like Candace Booth, Carol Watson, Terry Apt, Victoria Miller, Joanne Keller, John Bekas, Ross Hestor, Solara Attatharya, Randy Bryant, Marie McGregor, Gail Thurman, Eliziya Staudigl, Dale Joy, Jim from the Health Basket, Jean Hoagland & the members of the Lake County Homeopathic Society and so many others have joined us and helped in our mission to educate the public on how to care for themselves. Our “in house” practitioners Michael Rebel and Dr. Victoria Miller have shared their wisdom and expertise with people who wandered through the center. Mediums from Cassadaga have come monthly to support us. Those who have volunteered to assist over the years at our Message Services include Rev. Ben Cox, Jerry Moore, Jerry Fredrick, Graham Williamson, Matthew Landon, Kathy Grossclose, Iona Osborne, Joan Piper, Lawrence Demasio, Eddie Canada, Harry Byard, Georgie Kern, Gail Goodwin, Greg Kuschwara, Richard Russel, and many others. We have learned so much from Rev. Eleanor Bently and her voice of experience. We are grateful to have shared space with Unity by the Lakes and wish for them the blessings of growth and abundance! We have an awesome group of volunteers working on committees and our board that include Carolyn Ring, Jennifer Ring, Cindy and Nathan McClymonds, Lori Carter, Harry Lectora, Debbie McGinnis, Kathy Russel. Hugs and kisses to our wonderful landlord, Henry Roberts. I especially want to thank my wonderful partner Mary Rose Gray a phenomenal teacher, leader, counselor, and friend who has always been honest and loving, who held the vision with me and has taken it further than I could ever of imagined.

Andrea Purdon is the Editor of the Soul-ution Newsletter

Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose
your inward peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset... -Francis de Sales

To the peaceful a house is like a forest and to the restless even a forest is like a crowded city. To one who is at peace the entire world is a peaceful forest. To one who is restless with a thousand thoughts, it is an ocean of sorrow... -Yoga Vasistha

My oldest daughter is a student at Ringling School of Art in Sarasota majoring in Interior Design. She spends many hours in the computer labs working on projects that necessitate the use of advanced computer programs used by Graphic Designers, Architects and of course Interior Designers. The lab is filled with other students all trying to complete projects and meet deadlines. As the projects near due dates, the stress level increases and the melt down potential goes up. Her call the other day was for help. Her question, “How do I tune out the other students when they are loud, complaining and negative?” My daughter is very empathic and a strong clairsentient. She reads and feels in her body other peoples emotional states and physical symptoms. She is still trying to sort out what is hers and what is everyone else's. (It took me 48 years to figure this out for myself, so she is ahead of the game!) We talked about the negative emotions and energy in the lab before deadlines and she came up with the term “Energy Pollution” for what many of the students were creating in that space. Anyone who works in an office can relate at one time or another (or frequently!) to the concept of “Energy Pollution.”

Most kids in Art school are right brained, creative and “sensitive.” I suspect that this creates a domino “melt-down” effect. One goes and the rest pick up the crisis melt down energy and then they collectively stress out. She has told me that at least half of her class is on prescription medication for panic disorder and/or depression. (A very scary thought after Va Tech.) I gave her noise blocking headphones for Christmas to wear with her iPod in the computer lab. That helps auditorily to cancel some of the offending negativity, but it doesn’t get rid of the negative energy that everyone is giving off.

Most people know when they have walked into a room where someone was just fighting or angry. Children who are raised in homes filled with conflict learn how to “read the room” and adjust their behavior to avoid becoming a target of their parents wrath. These children are aware of the emotional climate of the space, registering it in their third chakra. Thus forewarned, they intuitively protect themselves. This behavior pattern carries into adulthood where they rely on their 3rd chakra to negotiate their way through life. Many of the kids today are hyper-sensitive. They come onto the planet already wired to process intuitively. This is not limited to “Indigo” kids, but certainly includes them. For these kids (and many adults) the negative energy in a space that they have to be in permeates their energy and colors their outlook and expression.

As we move through life we learn to avoid the line with the loud complaining person, or give clear berth to those who appear angry. At work we practice avoidance, ducking in the bathroom to prevent running into negative people that we know will “suck the life” out of us. It seems that the more stressed you are the more likely you will attract these people to you. (Law of Attraction 101) In a school setting like my daughter is in, stress is like a contagious disease. Everyone gets more stressed the more they interact with each other, sharing stress like the chicken pox. Deadlines and stress lead to anxiety and negativity. The frightening thing is this is just school. The response they are learning in school to stress will carry into the workplace. So will the negativity.

So how do we fight “Energy Pollution” in school, at work, and at home? Learning how to quiet and calm yourself through meditation, progressive relaxation, yoga, exercise, breathing, hot baths is a good start. You have to feel in your body what relaxed is, remember the feeling and be able to recreate it with your mind. The kids today are overstimulated by their environment; TV, Nintindo, non stop extra curricular activities short circuit their ability to know calm. Adults have the same challenges. How many adults think relaxing is something you do in front of the TV? The TV is not a psychologically relaxing place. It is full of negative thinking and events. Consider quality QUIET time. If you are feeling stressed, turn off the radio when you drive. (This was my only quiet time when my kids were little!) Use quiet time to breathe and process your thoughts. Diet and nutrition also play a role in fighting Energy Pollution. When we have deadlines we loose sleep. My daughter is frequently at the school lab at 2 in the morning and then has to get up the next morning for class. Exhausted, she goes for the Starbucks to jump start her body with caffeine. And we all know that too much caffeine will increase anxiety. Add to that no time to cook a nutritious meal or even to stop and eat and you have the proverbial recipe for a melt down. You have to take care of your self first.

If you are subject to “Energy Pollution” in your life, your work, or your home, try to examine where you are attracting it to you. Changing your thoughts, your response, and taking care of yourself will help you to walk through the chaos with the calm of a sage. Look for others who want calm in the chaos, who think positively and keep them close. Most importantly, mind your thoughts. NO NEGATIVE. You think negative you get negative. You think positive, you get positive. The law of attraction is as real a gravity. We are what we think.

It is not what we say that hurts but how we say it... -John Gray

When angry count to ten before you speak; if very angry, one hundred. -Thomas Jefferson

By your words you will be justified; and by your words you will be condemned... -Jesus


Words can be powerful tools. They can sway the masses, state opinions, change opinions, provide warning, educate, communicate needs and wants, and create your existence. A few poorly chosen words can also hurt feelings. Spoken words can’t be taken back. Once said they go forth to be interpreted by the person they are said to and either remembered or forgotten. Words spoken in love are often assimilated into a whole feeling of who we are and how we feel about the person who speaks them, often not remembered verbatim. Words spoken in anger or hate can be also assimilated but often they are not forgotten.

The television and movies show couples (real and in character) engaged in conflict belittling each other and calling each other horrible names. In “Reality” shows they divulge private matters to embarrass their partners or friends in public and verbally pick at the open sores of their loved one’s weakness. These people pummel each other with hateful words in a public display that defies common sense and common decency. These lovely “roll models” teach our kids that this is how you treat your loved ones. It is Pat Benatar’s “Love is a Battlefield” taught in your living room in high definition. Sadly, you too can be on TV if you are willing to put on a display of verbal abuse or absorb it. (Somehow that ten minutes of fame isn’t worth the price extracted from one’s self esteem.)

Many of the people on these shows are control freaks. Belittling their loved ones some how gives them power over the other person. These people often feel the need to “win” and treat their loved one like a competitor to be vanquished. These people want to one up their spouses and loved ones. Kind of a “I’m right, they’re wrong” thing and to win I am willing to publically humiliate the people I love. We all know a person who has to have the last word. Heaven help the couple that both have to have the last word. (Those are the domestic fights you see on the show “Cops”.) The funny thing is that the person usually most concerned about winning often makes themselves look like a total loser. When they open their mouths and say bad things about the other person you can see right through them to their insecurities.

There are numerous quotes that point to the fact that the person who loses their temper in an argument has in effect lost their power and the argument itself. Elizabeth Kenny wrote, “ He who angers you, conquers you.” It has been my experience that when I get angry and pop off at someone I usually end up regretting it and having to apologize. Fritz Kunkel said, “ Strong negative emotions like anger, irritation, and indignation usually, but not always, indicate that our weak spot has been touched consciously or unconsciously.” I know that if I get “furious” angry (yes, I am human) that I am usually reacting to something from childhood that this situation, event or dialogue is triggering a memory of. If I can get myself calm for one second I will trace it back and find the “real” trigger. Hopefully I can do this before I open my mouth and burn my proverbial bridges.

Respect is a necessary ingredient of a successful healthy relationship. It is hard to feel respected if your partner or loved ones calls you stupid or an idiot or a jerk (or substitute in the usual swear words...) in the heat of an argument. When my husband and I were first married, the doctor he was training under shared a secret from his marriage. He told my husband that he and his wife had gotten off to a rough start in their marriage. After some lessons from the “school of hard knocks” they agreed that name calling in a relationship was very destructive. They found that it attacked the other persons self esteem and undermined the love and intimacy in their relationship. They made an agreement to not name call when they got angry. By making this choice they were able to resolve conflict in their marriage without hurt feelings or loss of respect.

Your spoken words are a form of energy that goes out into the universe and has an eternal life of its own. The last time I checked, most religions teach that God is “all knowing” and “omnipresent.” This is a fancy way of saying he is not deaf. All the “hateful hurtfuls” that you unload on your loved ones, friends and the general public will come back to bite you. If you are passing judgement or criticizing them, prepare to get the lesson back. Remember, you are sharing space with people in this lifetime for a reason. Some people show up in your life so you can learn more about yourself and get your “lessons.” Don’t get angry with the messenger. Look at the message they are bringing you. When they push your button it is suddenly less about them and more about you and your stuff. Instead of getting angry, find your issue!

If you listen to your body you will know when you are going to step over the line. (Or if you already have.) What you are about to say won’t feel good and your energy will drop to your feet. Most responses of anger go to the tribal family stuff in your lower chakras. (Gossip and saying something negative about someone else out of jealousy or meanness will also drop your energy.)

“Think before you speak” isn’t that much different than “look before you leap.” Both can get you in hot water and be life altering. Before you say something in anger that you will potentially regret, remember that there really are “No take backs.”

-Andrea Purdon is the Editor of the Soul-ution Newsletter

You are the bows from which your children, as living arrows, are sent forth. -Kahilil Gibran

Mankind owes to the child the best it has to give...
-Opening words of the United Nations’ Declaration of The Rights of a Child

In the news this week a mother and her 24 year old son were arrested for defrauding the government. She had taught her children from the time they were little to pretend to be retarded so that they could collect government assistance. Another mother was in the news for giving her son a gun and telling him to go after a child who he had an altercation with. What is this, psycho parenting? How do you unteach a child who has been conditioned to believe that these are appropriate behaviors? And how can you hold a child or adult responsible who was indoctrinated with this nonsense?

The “mothering” parent has the most influence on shaping a child’s behaviors and beliefs. (In some families the “mother” or nurturing parent is male.) Through her actions, what she verbalizes, and even her thoughts about herself and others, she lays the foundation for the future values, morals and ability of her child to function in society. This foundation is usually laid by the time the child is five. If mom is inappropriate how is the child to know? A child only knows what they are taught and what they have observed. Children are not born knowing that lying, stealing or killing is wrong. They may be aware that those behaviors don’t feel good, but if mom or dad says they are ok, then they must be right. Children born into families that abuse them think that this is normal and happens in all families until they become of school age and experience healthy families. Parents also teach children who to hate. Racists are not born, they are indoctrinated . They learn hate from their families and later their peers.

In the past, full time moms had the most interaction with their children, imparting family wisdom and morals. With the event of working moms and daycare or babysitters, other people now play a significant role in shaping the child’s psyche. A baby that spends eight hours a day in day care is subject to the influence, values and parenting style of the caregiver, not the parents. If the caregiver teaches the child to hit back and retaliate and the parent teaches them not to hit, the child will experience inner conflict and confusion.

Most of us made decisions about how we would parent. We choose to do certain things differently than our parents and certain things the same. We also fell into unconscious behavior patterns that we were unaware of except when we had deja vu moments and realized that we were saying exactly what our mother (or father) said. Could it be that there are parents who don’t make conscious decisions on how they will parent, and just act unconsciously doing whatever mom or dad did? (That wouldn’t be a bad thing if mom and dad were good parents but I suspect that people who parent unconsciously were parented unconsciously.) As a (mostly) conscious parent, I agonized over choices I made that affected my children. I wanted them to be smart, have high self esteem, be creative, think for themselves, handle problems proactively, be successful in life, etc. In short I wanted the best for my kids. AND I knew that they were watching me for clues of how to behave, how to treat others, and how to move through life. Did I do this job perfectly? NO! But I gave it my best effort! At the age my kids are now, I can only stand back and cheer from the sidelines. Their life choices are their own now. Like most parents I can see in retrospect where my parenting was successful and were I occasionally fell down. (I can also see where my kids made a few choices I wouldn’t have....!)

But what about mothers that don’t know how to parent and teach their children things that are morally reprehensible? A parent who wasn’t parented appropriately themselves has a huge challenge in parenting their own children. They don’t have a map. Their model was broken. Thus the cycle of abuse, poverty, amoral behavior, etc. continues. Statistically 99.9% of all pedophiles were sexually abused and if you want to know what age it happened, look at the age range they target. The cycle perpetuates itself. Does this mean that everyone who was abused, abuses? NO! Most people with this history spend their adult lives consciously trying to heal and break the pattern. Poverty and lack of education often act as catalysts to perpetuate the cycle.

What can society do to break the cycle of inappropriate parenting? How can we teach children morally appropriate behavior after they have been mistaught? Most of the children in America enter the school system at the age of 5 years. Head Start Programs in some areas get the children earlier and have been very successful. What if in kindergarten and preschool and even daycare centers a basic “Golden Rule” program was started, teaching children compassion and the basics of what is an appropriate lifestyle. Topics could include lying, stealing, hurting others, manners, appropriate touch, and even healthy nutrition. This would also open up dialogue and help to red flag children with less than ideal living situations. Children caught in “the cycle” could enter special programs to help monitor their home life and teach them and their families appropriate values and behaviors. On the other end we really need required parenting classes for middle school and up. Bringing home the screaming plastic baby is a good start, but babyhood is very short. We need to teach kids how to raise healthy, moral, intelligent, functional children to adulthood.

No Child Left Behind is a great idea, but it needs to include more than just education. You can’t successfully “educate” the short circuited child. The cycles of poverty, inappropriate behavior and morals, and abuse have to be educated out. To my memory, when asked how she helped so many people, Mother Theresa said, “One person at a time.” One child at a time seems slow, but if we all pitched in...?

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The most drastic and usually the most effective remedy for fear is direct action.-Walter Burnham

Remember the old admonition, “ Be careful what you ask for?” Well, as usual I asked for a lulu. I signed on for a home renovation. Not just any renovation, but a marathon renovation for the Lake County Parade of Homes. We are down to two bedrooms and a laundry room that will be mostly untouched by the end of the remodel. Everything else is currently in a state of deconstruction and needless to say the metaphors are flying. Deconstruction is necessary before reconstruction in all aspects of life and when you deconstruct your living space you gain a deep respect for the process.

A remodel is more than just rearranging the furniture. “Stuff” (long forgotten seemingly important items that you have not handled personally in over 10 years) is uncovered and needs to be sorted and saved or discarded. The trip down memory lane has to be short and sweet because everything is on a deadline. The closet or cabinet has to be emptied and things have to be moved yesterday. Purging of “stuff” is very cathartic and is step one of deconstruction. When we remodel our living space we purge the physical stuff. When we remodel our psyche we purge the emotional baggage of our lives. When we melt down in personal deconstruction we tend to purge emotionally all over everyone else. Unaddressed past issues from childhood surface and erupt and spew. Like the carnage in my living space, it usually creates a big mess.

Step two in deconstruction is ripping out the old fixtures, tile, cabinets, walls etc. that are broken, damaged or no longer serve your purpose. This involves a lot of noise, dust, and removal of debris. If you are lucky some of what you discard that is still in good condition can be recycled for someone else. When you are finished with this step the house looks stripped bare. It is not a pretty picture and there is no going back. In personal deconstruction this is the stage where all of your patterns become transparent and ah-ha’s occur. You see what the stripped naked truths of your life really are. You see the root cause behind your emotional eruptions. You are aware of the roles you have played and how they haven’t served you. You acknowledge the script you are in and realize that you can’t ever play that game in the future. It is over and done and will never feel comfortable again. This is a place where the destructive aspect of Archetypes is acknowledged. For example where you see how you have played victim or rescuer and have learned the lessons. If you try to play victim from this day forward it won’t work. No supporting characters will appear to fill the roles necessary to support you. When someone starts screaming for a rescue you see where they are not choosing to help themselves. Sympathy and action are replaced with more appropriate empathy and inaction. Because you now recognize the pattern you are able to assist them by pointing out the choices they made that have gotten them to where they are, and the choices they have to make to move on, without you fixing it for them.

Personal deconstruction is another way to describe a melt down or break down, going to the seemingly emotional bottomless pit. Many of us avoid going there at all costs. It appears to be much easier to live in a house that needs new paint, appliances and things repaired than acknowledging the need for change and doing the work to make the changes. Yet most of us whine and complain about everything that is wrong in our lives and then try to Band-Aid it or get someone else to fix it for us. Or every time an issue gets too emotionally charged or too close to “home” we avoid it, hide from it, medicate it or stuff it. What we don’t realize is that to really heal the trauma behind the issue we have to deconstruct. Therapist Michael Rebel LHMC has reminded me on more than one occasion that he loves it when his clients hit “bottom” because from there they can only go up. The emotional “bottom” while seemingly a scary place, is the place where healing begins. The “bottom” is where the answers are and if we look inside we have all of the answers. (Sometimes when we can’t see the way up we may need a help from a counselor.)

Deconstruction of our physical space has lead to or tied in with personal changes for our family members. The physical upheaval has lead to emotional upheaval for my daughter and her boyfriend of one year. House deconstruction has made me prioritize my time and energy in a different way. It has also been a huge exercise in letting go and cleaning out clutter. My desire is to simplify my life and while this may be an ongoing process, this is a really good place to start!

The last step in deconstruction is cleaning and sweeping to make room for the new, the reconstruction. We don’t lay new tile over construction debris, nor do we put fresh wallboard over wood damaged by a leak. We vacuum the floor and put in new wood before reconstruction. Before we personally reconstruct we clean house and lay the foundation for the new “us.” We set intentions and reconceive our new lives. When I left a message for John Springer letting him know we were remodeling and I was up to my elbows in chaos, he left a message back asking “And who choose this...” One event led to another but it all started with my desire for change. With two children in college and one leaving in two years, I am looking forward to what the rest of my life holds. A little deconstruction was necessary to reconstruct what I choose for the rest of this life! And just like art, the fun is in the process!

-Andrea Purdon is the Editor of the Soul-ution Newsletter

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Asking the Big Questions, A Spiritual Imperative January 2007

Ask and it shall be given unto you; seek and you shall find;
knock, and it shall be opened unto you... -Jesus

…the answer is in the question…. -Bob Seger

What we are looking for is what is looking for us... -Francis of Assisi

The important thing is not to stop questioning... -Albert Einstein


At various points in our lives we stop and ask the big questions, why do I exist and why am I here? For some of us this is the beginning of our journey into our spiritual nature. For others this is the equivalent of a thirty second commercial between football plays or soap operas, quickly forgotten. Those willing to dive in headfirst into to the spiritual smorgasbord find their questions answered with more questions. If this religion teaches this and that religion teaches that, who is right? And what about all of the pat answers we learned as a kid, the religious mantras we could recite in our sleep? Why do they seem to make less sense to us as adults and only generate more questions? The irony is that religion is a creation of man to answer the “big” questions but it seems to only serve to generate more questions, confusion and frequently conflict. Yet, as humans, it is part of our nature to ask the questions and we are compelled to seek their answers. Why?

For most people the questions “why do I exist” and “why am I here” lead them to questions about the nature of God (by whatever name they call him/her.) The various religions define God as Love, Omniscient, Omnipresent, Universal Intelligence, and Creator of all that is. Some personify him/her as a Father or Mother figure, or a Parent. Some attribute the qualities of reward and punishment to be meted out by him/her. Some teach that Jesus and God are one in the same. Some teach rules and laws attributed to God brought to us by prophets, channels, and enlightened leaders. Some teach that we can talk to God in prayer. Some teach that we can hear God answer back. Others teach that only those most enlightened or of high status in the church can hear God. Our religious beliefs and the stories associated with them create a picture for us of who or what God is. That picture either helps us answer the questions of our existence or baffles us even more.

Questions of existence are questions of birth and death. To get here, where we currently exist, we had to be born, from where or what? And we all know that in the end we don’t exist in the physical, as we all eventually die. Religions attempt to answer these questions with concepts like the Universal Mind (Buddhism) that we come from and return to, or Heaven (Judaism), or Heaven and Hell (Christianity). Religions explain our existence, birth, and death with stories, beliefs, rules or laws and we are expected to accept them as Truth. Many religions expect their “Truth” teaching to be accepted without question. If the teachings don’t answer your questions, oh well, too bad. Remember followers are just that, followers. Religions aren’t made up of questioners. The guys who started the religion or lead the religion asked the questions and already got all the answers. Many people are happy to have their questions answered this way and accept them without argument. Those who don’t usually end up on their own personal journey or in New Thought Churches (or both!)

A personal spiritual journey often leads the seeker on an adventure through many different religions and beliefs, looking at first outside of him or herself, exploring and assimilating concepts. The search evolves with the seeker eventually looking inside where answers exist in a form closer to our true spiritual nature. The understanding of the nature of our existence on the inner is night and day different from the understanding of the nature of our existence on the outer. The outer is filled with rules and teachings, many conflicting each other. The inner is a journey of experience and feeling, a place of knowing and profound understanding. This is the place where we know God, and in turn know ourselves and our God nature. We are compelled to ask the big “Why” questions as part of our journey home. God wants us to ask why. God wants us to rediscover our Godliness, our Holiness. God is the Universal Mind that we connect with and are part of. God is eternal and we live eternally in spirit like the part of God that we are. The journey to understand God and our existence is the journey to understand who we really are. We can choose to live unconsciously ignoring our spiritual journey or we can live consciously growing and gaining from the understanding of the importance of our existence.

Understanding our existence and connection to God is a Spiritual Imperative, comparable to a Biological Imperative. It is something we have to do. God wants you to ask the big questions, and you as part of God actually have all the answers!

-Andrea Purdon is the Editor of the Soul-ution Newsletter

Bad times have a scientific value...We learn geology the morning after the earthquake. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
We’re like tea bags: We don’t know our strength until we get into hot water...-Bruce Laingen
When written in Chinese the word crisis is composed of two characters. One represents
danger and the other represents opportunity...-John F. Kennedy

Lake County recently lost Sheriff Chris Daniels when he passed in an accident at a fund raiser. He was very well known in the area and his death touched many people. My girlfriend whose son had been coached by Sheriff Daniels asked me the big question, “Why do bad things happen to good people?” This of course led me to wonder why we expect only “good” things to happen to “good” people and only “bad” things to happen to “bad” people. It also led me to consider that some people may believe that if something good or bad happens to someone, they may deserve it because of their actions or beliefs.

We all know that the law of attraction draws to us experiences that reflect back to us what we believe about ourselves and the world around us. What we give the most attention to is drawn to us. If we decide that we want to be a musician and put our energy and attention into it, the universe will draw to us the opportunities and experiences we desire to become a musician. On the same token, if we put our energy and attention into a fear such as being afraid of spiders, at every opportunity the universe will send us a spider so that we can release that fear. If we go through life believing that we have good luck and that good things/abundance/skills etc. come easily to us, then they will. If we go through life believing that we have bad luck or never win or that “bad things always happen to me” then we will by the law of attraction draw those experiences to us that reinforce those beliefs. Does that mean that if we think positively that only good things will happen to us? Probably not. What it may mean is that when bad things happen to us we tend to recover more quickly because we believe that things will always get better. (After all... tomorrow is another day, Scarlet...)

As children most of us experienced some level of reward and punishment. When we were “good” and conformed to societal and parental expectations we were rewarded with praise, privileges, or treats (food or presents). When we were “bad” and did not conform and misbehaved, we were punished by withdrawal of privilege, criticized, reprimanded and for many corporally punished. We learned from our parents that good things happened when we were “good” and bad things happened when we were “bad”. Those basic lessons carry forward into adulthood and are inferred onto others and their experiences. If our family of origin taught us that bad things happened to people who lied, cheated or stole then we believe as adults that only bad things happen to those who do those things. And if heaven forbid we should do one of those things ourselves, then subconsciously we believe we are bad. And of course if we are bad we deserve punishment so if something bad happens to us it must be because we bad. Because of reward/punishment conditioning we have a cause and effect belief tied to good/bad thoughts and behavior.

“Good” and “bad” can be very subjective. Franklin D. Roosevelt said, “I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird, and not enough the bad luck of the early worm.” What is good for me could be bad for you. If my team wins and your team looses does that make me a good person and you a bad person because you lost? I don’t think so. Yet if I worked all year for the championship title and didn’t win it in the finals, I would consider it a really bad thing. In competitive sports someone always wins and someone always looses. Political and moral issues can be considered good or bad depending on which side you sit. Think of the differing views on abortion, school prayer, immigration etc. To the person who believes that only those who are “born again” go to heaven, only they are good and everyone else is bad. To the rest of us without that belief that has no meaning or value. Bad also has a sliding scale that varies when put into perspective. I was upset for days because I had to put my dog to sleep, for me this was a pretty bad thing, until I talked to my girlfriend and found out her mother had died. Suddenly my bad wasn’t as bad as her worse.

Often what appears to be “bad” is actually an opportunity is disguise. How many times in your life has something appeared to be the worst that could happen only to become a new door that opens onto new possibilities. How many stories have you heard about the person who gets fired or laid off and they later tell you it was the best thing that could have happened to them. How many people talk about how they got really sick and then became healers or had a life altering spiritual journey to wellness? (I have that t-shirt in my closet!) Some of the best stories of our lives are of how we persevered in the face of adversity. When bad things happen we tend to rise to the occasion and grow. (Ok, some of us melt down first..then we grow.) Adversity and Opportunity are frequently used in the same sentence.

Sometimes when we experience the loss of someone who touched our lives or our hearts it is difficult to see it as anything other than a bad thing. It is easy to forget that they don’t really die, they just are not present in the physical where we can enjoy their company on a daily basis. Sheriff Daniels didn’t die because he was good or bad. I would like to think that Sheriff Daniel’s work in this lifetime was completed. He inspired the children who came in contact with him to be honest law abiding citizens, he was a role model for other police officers and an example of a generous community servant. His death at this time in his life wasn’t good or bad, it just was his time. This doesn’t make it any easier for his friends or loved ones, they are the ones who really had the “bad” experience of loss and suffering. When people pass from their physical existence it isn’t good or bad, it just is. We all do it eventually.

Good and bad things happen to everyone as a part of human life on this planet. The duality of good/bad, right/wrong etc is the proverbial “spice of life” creating the challenges that make our lives meaningful.

-Andrea Purdon is the Editor of the Soul-ution Newsletter

The death of democracy is not likely to be an assassination from ambush. It will be a slow
extinction from apathy, indifference, and undernourishment. -Robert Maynard Hutchins
Everyone has an influence on public affairs if he will take the trouble to exert it. -Calvin Coolidge
Ten persons who speak make more noise than ten thousand who are silent. -Napoleon Bonaparte


A poll in the news today said that one half of all Americans think Congress is corrupt. It is impossible to read the news without there being articles (yes plural!) on scandals of various political figures from both political parties. In the news we have had internet child sex crimes committed by the legislator who helped write laws protecting children from predators on the internet, a House Speaker who is being investigated for covering up for that legislator, a legislator who pleaded guilty to accepting trips, tickets, meal and campaign donations from a lobbyist in trade for his votes, and a Majority Leader resigning amid state charges of money laundering. Add these actual crimes to bills and laws passed that benefit obscure special interest groups, money wasted on studies to decide to spend money or not spend money, an out of control federal deficit, throw in a ridiculous and maddening drug program for seniors, and mix all that with a war that this week was compared by our president to Vietnam, and we have a very unhappy voting population ready to go to the polls on November 7. Or are they? Unhappy probably, but prepared? Doubtful.

We all know that our right to vote is guaranteed to us as Americans as part of our “we live in a free country” package deal. It comes along with a red, white and blue flag, football, apple pie, Micky Mouse, a Congress consisting of a House and a Senate, a Supreme Court, a President, and a Constitution that proves in writing that we are the land of the free and home of the brave. I’ve personally visited over 25 countries outside of our own and while they are all unique and beautiful in their own right, I wouldn’t trade mine for any of them and yes, I tear up when I hear Lee Greenwood sing “I’m proud to be an American.” Do I agree with the decisions being made by our government that affect me? Sometimes yes, frequently no. Do I vote? You bet.

Our country has relied pretty much on a ying/yang political system since its inception. Republican vs Democrat, the lazy mans voting system. Pick a party that mostly matches what you believe and then vote for everyone on the ticket from that party. (Nice of me to insult 9/10ths of my readers, but hear me out...) When you have a two party system you have two opposing groups that tend to push away from each other to the extreme, literally “extreme politics”. (Why not, we have extreme sports!) This is why we have an elected president who is a Conservative Fundamentalist Christian. (He is not an incumbent so he is fair game...) CFC’s represent an extreme end of the political ying/yang spectrum. Is this a bad thing? Only if you are not one. Remember, CFC’s believe that you are going to Hell if you are not one of them. So according to our presidents belief system most of the world should take stock in hand baskets. This underlying belief does not make for good diplomacy. Yes, in theory we have separation of Church and State but look at how many issues that swing the pendulum are related to underlying religious beliefs. (For example Gay Rights, abortion, etc.) These issues end up on one side of the fence or the other because of our two party system. To get elected, potential lawmakers and leaders have to choose one side or the other to affiliate with even when they don’t fully agree with the full party platform.

In truth the government likes the lazy man voting system. They don’t want informed voters. They want voters that jump on the old fashioned bandwagon and go for the ride. It makes their job easy. Less questions asked, at least not the big hard ones. It is easy to count on votes from a “Republican” district or to mindlessly pick the Democratic candidate just because he is a Democrat. What we forget as voters is that everyone has a personal history and the dreaded “permanent record” our parents used to warn us about. People who have served previously in office have a voting record of choices they have made. We can find out what organizations they support, if they are married or divorced, who they affiliate with, how much money they make and taxes they pay. Our secret weapon as voters is the internet. It gives us the ultimate access, short of personally knowing the candidate, to getting a feel for who they really are. It also gives us access to who is underwriting their political campaigns and who is supporting the amendments that we are invited to vote for or against. The internet gives us the freedom to be an informed voter with the power to elect the best candidate for the job regardless of their political affiliation. What a novel thought!

So where do we go to get the poop on our candidates? Start simple- the local paper. Go to www.orlandosentinel.com and look mid page for >more news/ elections. Click on elections and enter your address and zip to access a voter guide where you can compare candidates with info they have submitted, make choices and print a sample ballot. But don’t stop there. Head to www.en.wikipedia.org and look for info that has been compiled from public record. (Mom was right about the permanent record thing...) And don’t forget to look up the Independent candidates. They will possibly be more moderate. Responsible Government starts with Responsible Voting. Do your civic duty and your do-diligence!

-Andrea Purdon is the Editor of the Soul-ution Newsletter

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Peace comes not from doing, but from undoing; not from getting, but from letting go...-Satchidananda
Remember that a few in harmony with God’s will are more powerful than multitudes out of harmony...-Peace Pilgrim
There can never be peace between nations until there is first known that true peace (which)
...is within the souls of men...-Black Elk


Many of us sing “The Peace Song” every week at church and never consider what it really means. “Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me.” Emphasis of course on me. Most of our lives come up short in the peace department. We get glimpses and feel good moments, but stress and general life chaos make up most of our 24/7 existence. Add in war, natural disasters, bills, taxes, and the dog next door who likes your yard better than his, and peace becomes an unattainable goal. But what if world peace was all about you? Not about the war in the Middle East, not about world politics, not about civil rights or any rights, but about you. You are thinking, “Great, now I get to feel responsible for the world’s problems as well as my own.” Oops, not very peaceful thinking...

Contemporary life is chaos at its finest. It is a rare day when I can spend the whole day at home without having to go somewhere. Most of us carry cell phones so now friends, loved ones, bosses, sales people, ex boyfriends, and a few people we really don’t want to talk to can track us down anywhere. Things break down and have to be repaired, bills have to be paid, deadlines come and go and come again, children make decisions we wish they hadn’t, food and clothing have to be purchased, pets have to go to the vet, the computer and the kids get viruses, laundry has to be done, social obligations have to be met, the car needs new tires and today’s list never seems to get completed without being added to tomorrow's list. We complicate all of the above with “Drama.” We have to know everyone else's business and try to fix it, or we carry around old childhood traumas, hate, jealousy, fear and dump it everywhere we go. We try to control everything and everyone in our lives (unsuccessfully!) If our frantic, high drama lives were restaurants, everyone would leave them unnourished with indigestion. Larry Eisenberg said, “For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the universe.” Since the universe isn’t sending out pink slips (or we keep ignoring them and going to work anyway), resigning appears to be a healthy alternative.

Peace is defined as “freedom of the mind from annoyance, distraction, anxiety, an obsession. A state of tranquillity or serenity, silence, stillness.” Where do I sign up and do they take Visa? Joking aside, we all have experienced moments of peace. I had one this evening when I took the dogs out and walked down the driveway in the pitch dark. The air smelled fresh from recent rain and mowed grass. The bugs were chirping and the trees were dripping on me. The next thing I knew I was doing yoga in the driveway. I will admit to one mosquito bite, but it was well worth it for a few moments of bliss. Those of you who are naturephobes are probably thinking that my idea of peace is hell on earth. Just like one man’s trash is another man’s treasure, one man’s idea of what gives them peace and tranquility can be dramatically different from someone else's. I find peace when I am creating art, beading, walking in nature, meditating, soaking in the bathtub and even driving. (Ok, definitely NOT with the kids in the car.) For others some of the things that are peaceful to me might be stress inducing to them. Some days I can move through the chaos completely oblivious to it and unaffected by it. It beads off of me like rain on my labrador retriever’s fur. Other days I am agitated and overwhelmed by even the little things.

Buddhists strive through meditation to achieve states of bliss and peace so they can walk through the stresses of life and not be effected. They find peace in meditation by going to a place of Universal Mind where they are “empty” of worry, desire for material things, and without the need to control. Many of us find that space through other meditative practices often learning, as the Buddhists do, to carry that connection back to our everyday lives. When we are in a peaceful state we hold the vibration of peace. As we know from healing work, others of a lesser vibration will entrain with those of the higher vibration. For example when someone is ill they will entrain with the healthy higher frequency of a healers brain wave patterns. Taken in that context, when we find the high frequency vibration of peace in ourselves we extend that inner peace out to others through entrainment, thus making the peace we feel contagious! Thus “let there be peace on Earth and let it begin with me” takes on a new light. If I can work to stay in a state of peace, I can share that peace with those around me. Taking it one step further, when I go to a place of Universal Mind (think God space) in mediation (or when I walk, drive etc), I can literally share that peace with the entire planet. Add the power of intention to that and I could make changes that facilitate world peace. And so could YOU.

You can add to your “stress list” not feeling peaceful enough to save the world or you can stop “trying to manage the Universe” and embrace peace everywhere you find it. It exists in the warm cat on your lap, the feeling you get when your work is done, the memory of the smile of someone you shared a kind and loving moment with. On the journey of moving through life in a state of inner peace, be aware of how the universe around you joins in the party and others reflect back to you that peace. Those who are stressed or agitated become peaceful or move on. As Mary Rose guides us to do in meditation, breathe in a breath of love and a breath of peace and exhale them around you in a cocoon of light. Do it daily and share it with others. Gandhi, who taught peaceful protest, wrote. “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” Take his vision the next step and “BE the peace you wish to see in the world.”

-Andrea Purdon is the Editor of the Soul-ution Newsletter

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Everything is life is someplace else, and you get there in a car. -E.B. White
The automobile changed our dress, manners, social customs, vacation habits, the shape of our cities,consumer purchasing patterns, common tastes, and positions in intercourse. -John Keats

When school lets out for summer vacation I am treated to an extra hour or so of sleep that tends to be absent during the school year. Shakespeare’s “to sleep, per chance to dream” took on a new meaning this summer with a series of dreams that I had that were both symbolic and amusing. I call them the “Driving Dream” series. They are perfect metaphors for the state of my life, literally and symbolically.

The first dreams came two weeks apart and involved trying to drive an out of control car from the rear passenger side seat. In the first dream I was trying to stop the car without access to the brakes. At the last minute as I am rolling up on the sidewalk ready to crash into a store front, I remember that this car has a center console emergency brake, that I pull to stop the car in time. In the second dream I am in the same seat again but this time the car is moving very fast down a highway and I can’t reach the steering wheel. It is swerving in and out of traffic and narrowly misses hitting cars and trucks on the road. The car is interpreted symbolically as how we move through life. Looks like I’m a little out of control...

Dreams often reflect what is going on in your life. In my case my daughter was turning 15 in July and ready to get her learners permit. One of the things I was teaching her was that your car is just an extension of your body. You don’t want to skin your elbow or break your ankle, just like you don’t want to sideswipe a mailbox or crash into the car in front of you. You want to move through traffic with your car just like you move through life. (Remember the book “Zen and the Art of Driving?”)

My dream series continued and a few weeks later I found myself finally in the front seat with my husband in the passenger seat. (His turn...) Now I was driving the car but when I went to park it in a Walmart parking lot I couldn’t get my legs to move to apply the brake to stop the car in the parking spot. My husband asked what I was doing and in my head I thought “losing my mind.” We proceeded slowly down the road where we witnessed a car cross in front of our car and crash into a wall. Another car came up behind it and stopped and I assumed that the second car had hit the first one. Now we had to stop to help the injured people. My legs were barely working but I managed to stop the car before it went in a storefront. We went back to help the people but the police were already there. I realized that the accident was not as it had appeared. The 1st car had actually hit the second car before careening into the wall. Yet another hyper symbolic dream. Where in my life does my husband cause me to feel out of control? What is going on that isn’t really what it appears? How does this dream tie to the other dreams? This dream actually gave me huge clarity concerning where my husband and I were having a parenting conflict over my 15 year old. This one may sound familiar to many of you. He was wanting me to control and discipline our daughter because he didn’t want to be the “bad guy.” Which would be great, except in our family I am the “confidant” and he is usually the “disciplinarian.” And to make it worse, I didn’t think there was a problem that I needed to control. Later that day I gave him the driving dream synopsis. I abdicated the role he was trying to assign to me that I stressing myself out trying to fill. Around that time my daughter got her learners permit. With the air cleared and the permit in hand, I was sure the driving dream series was over.

Two weeks later we flew into Gatwick Airport on the day the Bombers to Be were rounded up and Heathrow was shut down. (We are definitely blessed, a number of people flying into Heathrow missed the boat, literally.) Four days before we were to return home they announced that electronics were allowed back on planes, alleviating six days of anxiety over how I was going to get my new laptop, ipod and cell phone home in luggage only insured for $250 dollars by the airline. (The back up plan was to mail them home so I could insure them.) So what did I dream? In real life I was worried about a plane ride and had been traveling around England, Scotland and Ireland on a boat and buses So I dream about my car, of course. I went to a post office in my dream and someone was carrying boxes out to their car. They had a toddler with them and the child was trying to run out the door after them. I was concerned the child would be hit by a car in the parking lot so I picked him up until his dad was finished. When I gave him back I went to reach for my purse and found that my purse, phone, and keys were missing. I went into the parking lot and realized that my car had been stolen. So, if the car is an extension of my body and I loose my car, my keys, and my phone (which has everyone's number in it) what could this mean? In the dream I now needed to call my husband, except I didn’t know the number for his office because it was in the phone. (The sad thing is that in reality I still don’t have that number memorized!) Symbolically a complete loss of identity, ironically, what you almost feel when you travel out of the country, enter the altered state of tourist and become one of the proverbial “masses.” (I won’t go into the inner child/parent dream reference combined with loss of identity. That could take another page!)

I returned home to be relegated to the front passenger seat while my life occasionally passes before my eyes and I frequently have to yell the magic words, “BRAKE.” The ultimate “out of control” experience for any parent. Thank God for Reiki and where is that book on “Zen and the Art of Driving?”
-Andrea Purdon is the Editor of the Soul-ution Newsletter

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It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens. - Woody Allen
To die will be an awfully big adventure. - James M. Barrie

The contemporary American public is afraid of death. Death used to be a family event. People went through the dying process in their own homes with their family caring for them. Now people frequently die in hospitals or nursing homes, family participation is often optional. Then we have conventional religion teaching that when you are dead, you go to Heaven or Hell (or possibly limbo if you’re Catholic) and that you should live in real fear of ending up in Hell for your misdeeds. There is not much discussion of what happens to you as you die or after you die. At our recent open house we hosted speakers on the topic of “What happens when I die?” We were joined by teachers, ministers, people who had near death experiences, people from diverse religions, a college professor, and mediums who talk to the dead. It was a very dynamic and in the end, life affirming day. So how is the topic of death life affirming?

Our program began with the sharing of near death experiences. The stories varied as to how people ended up dead, but there were common themes in the actual description of the death experience. Some moved through fog, some saw loved ones, some went up a tunnel of light, some were told to go back because it wasn’t their time and some did all of the above. All now have a knowing that they go somewhere really nice when they die in the physical, that they won’t be alone, and that they really don’t die at all. Can you imagine the choices you would make differently in your life if you knew dying was a great thing?

Ross Hestor shared his personal near death stories and discussed how people in his hypnotherapy practice often experience past life regressions, reliving past lives and deaths. Rev. Ben Cox and Dr. Ryan Godwin discussed the different religious beliefs on death of the main religions. They discussed reincarnation in the Hindu and Buddhist traditions which believe in a cyclic wheel of existence we reincarnate in until we are able to raise our consciousness to leave the wheel and return to the One Mind. The Buddhists actually have a meditation practice of dying. They practice shutting down their chakras beginning with the root chakra and moving upwards. They want to be conscious in death so that they don’t reincarnate again. This is the practice that allowed some in the Buddhist and Native American traditions to choose to sit down under a tree and consciously die. Some scholars believe that originally the gospels that were collected into the Bible contained references to reincarnation that were removed. The thought was that early leaders in the church couldn’t control people that believed that they could come back again.

Our program also included Spiritualist Mediums and student Mediums from Cassidaga. Real people who talk to dead people. Mediums communicate with those who have passed using clairaudience, clairvoyance, clairsentience, and omniscience. Gifts some people have naturally and that anyone can develop and use. Clairaudience is hearing, getting information from Spirit in some form auditorially. Clairvoyance is seeing and includes both seeing in the mind and actually seeing with the eyes. Clairsentience is feeling and includes emotional feeling and physical feeling. Omniscience is knowing, information that comes from a higher space, sometimes very quickly and often not recalled at all by the medium. Mediums usually have access to all of the skills, but often are better at certain ones. Everyone has these abilities even if they are unaware of them. It is sometimes the voice in your head that tell you to stop or turn here, preventing an accident. Or knowing who is calling without checking caller ID. Or being aware that the people who are smiling at you are really angry or sad because you can feel it. Mediums have taken these skills and practiced them so that they can help others. Spiritualists believe in the continuation of life and wish to share this with others. They don’t believe in the “Devil” because they actually know that the “Devil” doesn’t really exist. They know that there is a Higher Being that they can communicate with using their intuition skills without having someone “holier” than them communicate on their behalf as has been taught in conventional religion. They also know that your loved ones exist, that they check in on you frequently and that they are no further away than your very thoughts.

When our loved ones pass before we do it is difficult for us to be left behind without them. We miss them in the daily physical existence. It is comforting to know that communication doesn’t end when their physical lives do. In the book “Hello From Heaven” the Guggenheims have written a collection of stories of after death visitations. From lights going on and off, to certain music being played (on turned off machines!), to full visitations, these moving stories of loved ones communicating after physical death comfort and touch the heart. We truly are never alone.

Exploring our feelings about death helps us to live more fully. Most of us like to know what is going to happen next. Hearing other peoples experiences and stories lets us prepare for death. Taking classes to develop our intuitive skills helps us to know and experience our pure and perfect spirit and its relationship with all that is. Finding a group to share beliefs and experiences with and talk about what death really is, helps us to not be afraid. Eternal life is hard to conceive of in a world of impermance if you try to process it with your head. Instead contemplate eternal life with your heart and your intuitive gifts, then it will make perfect sense.

-Andrea Purdon is the Editor of the Soul-ution Newsletter

Right and Truth are greater than any power... -Benjamin Whichcote
Power undirected by high purpose spells calamity... -Theodore Roosevelt

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Worry is spiritual short sight. Its cure is intelligent faith. -Paul Brunton
There is nothing that wastes the body like worry, and one who has any faith in God should be
ashamed to worry about anything whatsoever. -Mohandas Gandhi
When you worry about the problems of tomorrow, you are creating unhappiness for yourself today. -Shantidasa

Did one of your parents ever say that they were “worried to death” over something you did or didn’t do? Or that they were so worried about you or some event that it gave them “grey hair?” Or worse yet, have you said these things to your own kids? Have you ever lost a nights sleep worrying about something that never happened or when it did wasn’t anywhere near as bad as you imagined it to be? Mark Twain wrote that, “I am an old man and have had many troubles, most of which never happened.” Tongue in cheek Twain, as always seeing the irony of his and our behaviors. Worry has plagued man from the beginning of time; prematurely aging bodies, wasting valuable time, and mentally taxing us. There are few people on the planet who master serenity and a worry free existence in their lifetime. We might sing along with the song “Don’t worry, be happy,” getting the concept, but the practice is pretty daunting.

Stress is caused by worry. The reason we are stressed is because we are worried. We perceive we have too much to do, so we worry about the details and process of getting “it” (our job, task, parenting etc) done. Or we are stressed because we are worried about doing “it” perfectly, or on time. Stress and worry do wicked things to our bodies. We overtax our adrenals and thus send our whole hormonal system on a ride when stressed. Our blood pressure goes up and our immune systems go down. The phrase ‘worried to death’ is a true statement. Worry and stress shorten our life span.

We accuse teenagers of wasting time, but how much time do we waste worrying about money, bills, our job, our relationships, and our kids? Children and teens tend to be more focused on what is happening now. In the mean time their parents are wasting time worrying about what happened yesterday and what is going to happen tomorrow. (Do not confuse worry with appropriate planning for the future. If you are afraid, it is worry.) Worry is in direct proportion to one’s control and perfectionist issues. The greater ones need for control and/or perfection the greater ones worry and stress levels. Believing that we can control future events or other people is an illusion. We can only control ourselves and our response to situations. We can also choose to waste time worrying needlessly or choose to not worry at all.

If our every thought is a prayer, then so is our every worried thought. Shantidasa said, “To worry continually is the most efficient prayer for getting what you don’t want.” Remember that by the law of attraction where we put our intent and energy is most likely to manifest, and that which we are afraid of is usually drawn to us for healing. Continually worrying that your teen is going to be in a car accident will only set the stage to attract that experience. Worrys are fears. When we worry, we are afraid of something that hasn’t happened, something that we think might happen. The pictures we paint in our minds of possible outcomes is usually not accurate. We tend to imagine the worst case scenario. Star athletes don’t focus on losing. Athletes visualize winning. They put their attention on the outcome they desire.

In Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount (Matt 6:30-33), Jesus chided the people, “O ye of little faith,” reminding them that God knows what we need to sustain us and that if we first seek God then “all these things shall be added unto you.” The underlying message is that to prevent worry (fear) we need only to trust in God and know that everything is in “Divine Order.” God knows best and has the program under control. Surrendering our worries to God and trusting that the outcome will be for our highest and best, allows us to release worry.

When my three kids were younger I would start the days schedule with after school time slots where I literally needed to be three different places miles apart at one time picking up and dropping off. I got to the point that I stopped worrying about it. The day was totally out of my control. As soon as I stopped worrying the whole day fell into place. A friend would call and offer to pick of one of mine if I got one of theirs, or a class would cancel or a time slot would change. It happened so frequently that I just started the day with the assumption that everything would change anyway and that it would work out as always. The more flexible I was, the more fluid my life was. Talk about Zen and the art of mommyhood!

When we worry our mind us usually somewhere else and not on our current task or in the present. The Buddhists practice being in the moment. They are mindful of what is happening Now. They believe that the running monologue in our minds is a source of confusion and suffering for us. They have meditative practices that train their minds to stay in the moment. You don’t have to be a Buddhist to practice their meditations and mindfulness exercises. They are as simple as paying attention to everything around you; how it feels, smells, tastes, sounds and moves. Or sitting quietly and paying attention to your breathing. Or observing your thoughts. You can’t worry if your thoughts are focused in the present.

So how do we let go of the habit of worrying? Simple things like not procrastinating. If you need to call someone pick up the phone and get it over with. If it is too soon to start something or too late to call, make a list. Put the list where you will see it in the morning. Tell yourself that once you have written it down you don’t have to think about it until it is time to do it. When I am obsessing about something that has happened that I can’t change or worried about something that hasn’t happened, I use Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) and tap on my issue or fear, or I send Reiki to it and let it go. Focus on the present and realize that when we surrender our worries and fears and trust in God, everything always falls into place (and our bodies remain healthier and our minds remain saner!)

- Rev. Andrea Purdon is the Soul-ution Center Administrator and Newsletter Editor

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When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. -Lao Tzu
You must recognize yourself for what you are, not what you believe yourself to be... -Shantidasa
You are what you are by what you believe. -Oprah Winfrey

It’s easier to live through someone else than to become complete yourself. -Betty Friedan
Women, if the soul of a nation is to be saved, I believe that you must become its soul.- Coretta Scott King
Memories of our lives, our works and our deeds will continue in others. -Rosa Parks

There will never be a really free and enlightened state until the state comes to recognize
the individual as a higher and independent power, from which all its own power and authority are derived,
and treats him accordingly. -Henry David Thoreau

When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other. -Eric Hoffer

In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different. -Coco Chanel

It is the function of perfection to make one know one’s imperfection. -Saint Augustine

Perfection does not exist. To understand this is the triumph of human intelligence;
to expect to possess it is the most dangerous kind of madness. -Alfred De Musset

A man would do nothing if he waited until he could do it so well that no one could find fault.
-John Henry Cardinal Newman

I’m a recovering perfectionist. I was so bad when my first child was a toddler that the montessori preschool teacher taught me to sit on my hands so I wouldn’t interfere with her work. I know I’m recovering because I now suffer from selective perfectionism. Most of the time I am too busy juggling too many things to make all of them “perfect.” Now I only obsess on certain things, like restringing a necklace I am making three times because it’s not “right.” Having the third child and getting sick cured me from the worst of my perfectionist behavior. Things got so far out of control that I finally gave up. Control and perfectionism are almost synonymous. Perfectionists are almost always control freaks. Perfectionism and control extend into many different arenas of ones life. They can effect choices in the environment around you, in the relationships you have with family and friends, in the things that you create, and in how you feel about yourself.

Some of us extend our perfectionist tendency toward our living space. We have to have everything in order, in the correct drawer, in a specific state of cleanliness or tidiness. Ever go ballistic when someone touched your stuff or went in your drawer? I used to. Kids have a way of correcting that behavior. Mine at some point have ransacked every drawer in the house. Not intentionally, just by accident when searching for things (in the wrong drawer...). My youngest has her own sense of order. One day she redecorated my bathroom. She decided that it would better organized if all of the contents of the counters were arranged around the perimeter of the tub.

Perfectionists often run into trouble with relationships. They often try to hold others to the impossible standards that they hold for themselves. They are almost always disappointed. No one else can be as “perfect” as they are. In the extreme, a perfectionist can be rigid and unforgiving, judgmental of others faults. Usually the faults in others that they are most distressed over, are the faults that they battle with in themselves. The perfectionist plays hide and seek with their own imperfections, hoping others will not notice them. What they don’t realize, is that everyone else can see pretty clearly who they are and generally will love and accept them with all of their imperfections. No one else expects them to be perfect or in control all of the time. The perfectionist will inevitably expose themselves, just like the “perfect” family will eventually reveal itself as dysfunctional. (Sorry folks, there are no Norman Rockwell perfect families. Dysfunction is the norm!)

When it comes to creativity, perfectionists can be their own worst enemy. Anything they create will not be good enough. Period. They will second guess themselves in every decision. In the worst case scenario, they will be so obsessed with creating a masterpiece or doing something perfectly, that they will completely paralyze themselves and not be able to act at all. I have known people who would not try something until they could do it perfectly...and therefore never tried. One of the lessons I learned from art is that the process is more important than the end result. This holds true with many aspects of life. The perfectionist is concerned with the outcome; making a